By Rev. Joyce Kramer
There are a lot of angry people in the world. Angry people are responsible for crime, vandalism, destruction, rape, and abuse. It seems to take very little to trigger violent action in a person who harbors a great deal of anger. Put a few angry people together and fighting or rioting may result.
Note that the riots that break out in large cities have little to do with the supposed reason for the riot. Although it seems an event may trigger violent behavior, the event itself actually has little to do with it. Whether coming from a feeling of outrage at an apparent travesty of justice, or excitement over a sporting event success, such the Chicago Bulls’ basketball championship win in 1992, the destruction, vandalism, and crime that followed were the result of uncontrolled anger. There were divergent reasons behind the Chicago Bulls incident: in one case, concern over the behavior of our justice system; in another, pride over winning a national championship. Yet the result was the same. Mass anger, like a seething volcano, lays in wait for something to justify its release.
What is anger? Anger is defined as a strong emotion of displeasure, a feeling of antagonism, fury, and rage. These feelings may become so strong that intelligent, rational thought is set aside and violent, uncontrolled behavior results. At other times the emotions build inwardly, fueled by vengeful, vindictive thoughts with imagined scenes of revenge or retaliation for believed wrongs. These may smolder under the surface until something or someone triggers a violent eruption.
Anger, the process of losing our temper, frequently leads to far-reaching and disastrous consequences. This loss of emotional control finds an outlet in crime, delinquency, abuse, accidents, and suicide.
What is it that causes such a loss of control, such disregard for the negative effects that our behavior may have on oneself or others? Even though it may appear that outbursts of anger are precipitated by a condition, event, or circumstance, there are underlying reasons why the emotion is so ready to explode at the slightest provocation.
Anger is an offspring of hate. Hate is a strong, intense aversion or dislike for someone or something. It generally includes the desire to inflict suffering on another in return for supposed wrongs or neglect. Hate results from thought and emotional patterns that have been nurtured over long periods of time. Established not only in conscious thought but in the subconscious mind, they become a part of our belief system. In turn, these beliefs perpetuate anger.
Some of the most common beliefs that maintain anger are:
…. the belief that we are the victim of birth, parents, race, or environment. This provides a convenient excuse for inaction and lack of effort. It leads to a “poor little me” attitude and a feeling that we are victimized by conditions over which we have no control.
… the belief that the world and others owe us something, whether a living, happiness, care, or even love. Feeling that others should be responsible for our well-being leads to the surrender of personal responsibility for taking charge of our life and making it what is desired.
… the belief that the past has control over the present. Many people believe that if they had received more love or more attention when they were children, they would be happier and more successful today. That is pure speculation; who knows, they might have been worse. Children who have had plenty of attention and love have become criminals.
… the belief that our personal views, attitudes, religion, behavior, and way of thinking is the “right” way. Narrow-mindedness and limited experiences lead to condemnation of anyone or anything that differs from our preconceived notions.
… the belief that the total of life is defined by the experience of one life span, and accepting as the only reality that which is perceived through the five senses. Naturally this causes us to develop a “what’s the use?” attitude leading to a sense of futility. This trend of thought excludes faith in God and an acceptance of the continuity of life. A life based on these thoughts is devoid of purpose and meaning.
If you have any of these beliefs, then you are a candidate for a great deal of anger. Although you may be unaware of it, and are not expressing it in a negative way, anger rages beneath the surface awaiting the match that will light the fire. Since anger is such a powerful emotion, and so potentially destructive, it is important to our health and well-being to understand the devastating effects of anger.
Anger plays havoc with the physical body, upsetting the intricate balance and order in the body chemistry. It inhibits the body’s natural process of repair and renewal. It can produce physiological harm resulting in conditions such as high blood pressure, migraine headaches, and heart problems.
From the psychological perspective, anger destroys our peace of mind and happiness, leaving in its wake guilt and depression. In relationships, anger breaks down communication, prevents rational thought, and often leads to violent behavior directed toward others.
Charles Fillmore wrote, “Anger is one of the most dangerous emotions of man.” A person caught in the throes of irrational uncontrolled anger is temporarily insane. Once he has lost control while in this deranged state, he may do things that he will regret for the rest of his life, such as acts of violence and crime.
Anger retards our spiritual unfoldment by building invisible barriers to the free-flowing activity of God. Whenever our state of mind is out of accord with the loving nature of God, we are closed off from the inspiration and guidance of His Spirit.
Instead of indulging in anger, we should heed the advice given in James 1:19, “Know this, my beloved brethren. Let every man be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger, for the anger of man does not work the righteousness of God.”
Jesus had a great deal to say about our attitudes toward, and our treatment of, our fellow human beings. He set a high standard of conduct by which we should live. Consider the words from Matthew 5:38-39, “Ye have heard that it was said, an eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth: But I say unto you, that ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also.”
Jesus advocated active non-resistance, not the passive behavior that makes one a doormat. Nor did his example of “turning the other cheek” literally mean to let someone slap us in the face. He was instructing us to turn our attention away from thoughts that produce anger to positive thoughts of peace and harmony. We need not be enslaved by negation, for we have the option to turn our attention to God’s good. We learn to follow the advice Paul gave the followers of Jesus in his letter to the church in Rome, “Be not overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” (Romans 12:21)
One of the ways we can best do this is through following the advice that Jesus gave in Matthew 5:44: “But I say unto you, love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you and pray for them which despitefully use you and persecute you.” How is it possible to do this? It is not so difficult once we realize that each person is a spiritual being, having a divine spark of God within him. This knowledge gives us an advantage, for often the person who is giving us trouble does not know this about himself. Through prayer we are able to appeal to his greater self, his spiritual essence. Love has a way of dissolving feelings of anger and cleansing the mind of negative emotions. When this happens, the problem will be dispelled. The love of God is so powerful that it can dissolve hate and its many offspring.
There are a number of signs of hidden anger. If you discover that any of these are present within you, it is important to clear them from your mind and heart. If you want to live a wholesome, healthy, successful life, and be free to commune with God, then anger should be dispelled.
Criticism, a desire to get even, a “serves him right” attitude, a sense of glee when something goes wrong in the life of another, a desire for revenge, ruthless teasing, and attempts to humiliate someone clearly show the presence of hidden anger. Once you become conscious of any of these subtle attitudes and responses, it is the beginning of freedom for you, if you so choose.
Resentment, ill feelings, grudge-holding, and bitterness are dangerous habits. Not only is indulgence in these attitudes a waste of time, it is destructive. It leads to negative results in mind, body, and our outer world of affairs. Instead of these feelings having a negative effect on the person to whom they are directed, they simply rebound on the sender. What we give out comes back to us increased and multiplied. Refrain from giving out to others anything you don’t want to live with yourself.
Let us consider other ways we can use to help overcome anger:
Direct and Honest Communication. If you feel someone has wronged you, tell him how you feel in a positive assertive manner. Express your concerns clearly and specifically after giving the matter intelligent thought. Deal directly with the person, not an intermediary. All too often we complain to another person and build a sense of righteous indignation, while the person concerned is unaware a problem exists. Such behavior is unloving and unkind.
Matters between people, left unattended, frequently build deep anger and resentment. ln many instances, by being direct, the misunderstanding is cleared up quickly. Whenever you have a complaint, try the direct approach so that unreasonable anger will not have a free rein in your mind.
Practice Forgiveness. The practice of forgiveness helps free the mind and heart of troublesome, unpleasant emotions. Every person makes mistakes, it seems to be a part of being human. We should not hold a person in bondage to his mistakes, for as he learns better, he will do better.
The disciples of Jesus had questions about forgiveness. “Then came Peter and said to him, ‘Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Until seven times?’ Jesus saith unto him ‘I say not unto thee, until seven times; but seventy times seven.’” (Matthew 18:21-22)
Emilie Cady in her book Lessons In Truth wrote: “We must forgive as we would be forgiven. To forgive does not simply mean to arrive at a place of indifference to those who do personal injury to us; it means far more than this. To forgive is to give for—to give some actual definite good in return for evil given.”
It is only as we keep our consciousness free from anger that we are open and receptive to the work of God’s Spirit in us. To pray effectively, to commune with God and receive the guidance we need, we must forgive.
Release Anger Physically. It is unlikely that any person is at the point of never feeling anger. Instead of reacting to it in a negative way, anger can be dispelled through physical activity. As anger causes physical tension, physical activity helps release that tension. Anger produces energy, and that energy needs an outlet in a socially acceptable way.
The next time you feel angry, do something that requires physical exertion. This is a wonderful time to scrub and wax your kitchen floor or clean and polish your car. You may choose to participate in a sporting activity that makes demands on your strength and energy. Physical activity is a proven way of dissipating angry feelings.
Control Your Thoughts. The power of thought is often overlooked in relation to the control of anger. Thinking is such a normal, natural, and seemingly effortless process that we sometimes forget we must give it direction. The direction of our thoughts determines the direction of our life, for thought is the starter of feelings, attitudes, and emotions.
You are in charge of your thoughts. It is up to you to determine the character of the thoughts that you think. It is impossible to think positive, constructive thoughts and negative, angry thoughts at the same time. To be rid of anger, think on those thoughts that add beauty, love, and peace to your life.
“We build our future, thought by thought
For good or bad, and know it not —
Yet so the universe is wrought.
Thought is another name for fate,
Choose then, thy destiny, and wait —
For love brings love, and hate brings hate.”
Ella Wheeler Wilcox
Once you have established control of your thoughts, you will discover that your feelings will naturally follow their pattern. By exercising this control, you can clear your mind of anger and experience feelings of love, peace, and joy. It is up to you.
Handle Anger with Patience. All too often, we allow another person’s anger to make us angry. By so doing, we multiply the anger and create additional problems. By responding to anger with anger, we descend to the level of the person who is already out of control; we add fuel to the fire that results in more anger. When we keep our own self-control, we can look beyond the appearance of anger, and perceive the inner spirit of the person who is loving and good. When we refuse to take anger personally, the storm soon subsides.
Charles Fillmore described patience as “an attitude of mind characterized by poise, inner calmness, and quiet endurance, especially in the lace of trying conditions. Patience has its foundation in faith.”
The stronger our faith, the easier it is to be patient. To have faith in God, in His Spirit in ourself as well as others, leads to quiet confidence. You can help build your faith by planting the following affirmative idea in your mind. “I have faith in God. I allow no one or no thing to disturb the calm peace of my soul.” Seek to develop a patient attitude of mind founded upon faith. “The proving of faith worketh patience.” (James 1:3)
When the storm of anger is over in another, we are then able to respond with love and kindness. Our Scriptures assure us that “A soft answer turneth away wrath.” (Proverbs 15:1) Wonderful blessings ensue when we handle anger with patience.
Your efforts to overcome anger will be greatly enhanced by the practice of meditation. Take a special time each day for quietness and seek to feel the presence of God flowing through your being. Meditation will accelerate your ability to take the steps needed to overcome angry feelings. Meditation is a wonderful way to build personal character. It will elevate your consciousness out of the limitation of appearances into an awareness of the powerful, loving presence of God.
To begin the process of meditation, “Take with you words and return to the Lord.” (Hosea 14:2) Meditate upon a verse of Scripture such as “Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on thee.” (Isaiah 26:3) You may choose a simple affirmation of Truth such as, “The power of the Holy Spirit, moving through me, cleanses my mind and heart of all anger and its offspring.” Giving your attention to such statements will gradually withdraw your attention from the outer world of sense perception. The activity of your individual thought will become stilled and the quiet voice of God will be heard. In addition to the guidance and inspiration you receive, there will be a gradual change of consciousness leading to freedom from anything that would impede your spiritual growth and unfoldment. It is out of the silence that great power is born.
Carlyle said, “Consider the significance of silence: it is boundless, never by meditating to be exhausted, unspeakably profitable to thee! Cease that chaotic hubbub, wherein thy own soul runs to waste … out of the silence comes thy strength.”
Let us give thanks to God that we are able to overcome anger so that we may move forward to be all that God created us to be.